


Jim's Boys

by Rakuyou_Tenshi (Citrus_Luver)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blended family, F/M, Falling In Love, Female James T. Kirk, Healing, Kid Fic, Loss of Parent(s), Second Chances, Secrets, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5396315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Citrus_Luver/pseuds/Rakuyou_Tenshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is twenty years old and in way over her head.  Two months earlier, her older brother and sister-in-law died in an undisclosed lab accident leaving her with their three boys: Peter, Julius and Alexander.</p><p>With too many memories and nothing left for them in Riverside anyways, she moves west to meet her lifelong pen pal Spock.  </p><p>There she meets single father Leonard McCoy, a young med student.</p><p>In San Francisco, Jim learns to juggle being a mom, life, and maybe even romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I really just want to write female Jim Kirk.

The sky was dark and gloomy. It looked like the heavens would explode open at any moment, and let down its torrential rain. For Jim Kirk, it seemed fitting. 

And she hated it all.

She hated this place. It reminded her of all the people who she loved and lost. It reminded her of her own morality and just how fragile it all really was.

She should be used to this. Death and destruction had always been at the nip of her heels.

Her father died a war hero moments just after she was born. He saved a lot of lives. They always told her so.

But he couldn’t save her mother... 

Winona Kirk tried. She tried to build a family and stability for her young daughter and teenage son. But sometimes trying and reality just isn’t compatible.

Then it was just Jim and Sam. Her older brother tried for a long time, but Jim was an angry and rebellious teenager. He promised her forever, but instead like everyone else in her life left her.

But she wasn’t alone now…

No…

Sam had left her a family. 

A reluctant and broken family but still a family…

She looks to her side at Sam’s boys, now her boys.

Little Alex is too young. He doesn’t understand. His tiny pudgy little hand is clenched tightly to Peter’s pant leg. 

Peter, twelve-year-old Peter, hasn’t shed a tear. Even now he doesn't cry. 

Not like Julius, six-year-old Julius, tries to be brave, but he can’t. Big, splotchy and angry tears trail down his face. He’s crying for them all.

It’s for the best…

Jim knows that. She’s decided. 

It’s better for them all.

She sets the flowers down on the soft soil. She touches the hard head stone. It’s cold to the touch, like it should be.

“I’ll do right by you Sammy,” Jim whispers. The word ‘Sammy’ catches on her throat. She hasn’t called him that in years. Not since she was Julius’ age, before Peter was born.

She squeezes Peter’s shoulder.

He looks the most like Sam.

Of all of Sam’s children, Peter was the only one that inherited the Kirkian looks. He reminds her so much of Sam sometimes that it hurts. 

“Come on.”

He nods. 

He hasn’t spoken much since it all happened. 

He takes Julius’ hand while Jim picks up Alex. He’s heavy for a two, almost three, year old. He settles against Jim’s chest, blissfully unaware. Jim wishes it was all this easy.

She guides them to the minivan, Sam’s minivan. One of the many things she has inherited. She settles Alex into his car seat.

She’s better at this now. Julius, still sniffling, piles in afterwards. Peter takes shot gun.

Jim makes sure the child lock is engaged before sliding the door shut. She turns one last time, to that bitter cold gate. It guards the domain where almost everyone who she loves now resides. 

“I’ll do right by you Sammy,” she mutters one more time before digging out the keys. She climbs into the driver seat. She looks over at Peter. He’s on his phone. 

She checks on Alex and Julius from the rear view mirror. Alex has fallen asleep. His head bobs up and down as he sleeps on. Julius has his face pressed flat against the window. He’s curled himself into a tiny ball.

“Ready?” She asks.

She doesn’t expect an answer and doesn’t get one.

She understands that.

She just hopes they will turn out better than she did.

And that is why she is doing this.

She ignites the engine. The minivan roars to life. 

San Francisco…

It’s new. It’s different.

It’s what they need. 

What she needs...


	2. Chapter 2

She’s never been more thankful than the moment she reaches her brownstone, a pretty off pastel blue house overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

She’s more grateful that the utilities are running, and the furniture has already been arranged.

She’s not sure why she drove anymore.

Two days with three boys of three different ages is taxing and tiring.  What normally would have taken her a little over day took almost two full long days.

She’s never been more grateful towards a man she has never met.  A man she’s known almost her entire lifetime but only in worlds.

What had started as a coping and healing mechanism suggested by her childhood therapist had blossomed into a friendship.  She was seven, and he was ten.

At the time she couldn’t understand how writing letters to a boy she would never meet could possibly help.  Her letters were always half assed at best while his were intricate with a flourish that Jim couldn’t see belonging to a ten-year-old.

Even after the therapy sessions ended, she had always been good at buffing, they continued to write to each other.

He would describe some logical, fascinating science experiment he was working on.  In turn Jim would write about her adventures.

He had also been the first and only person she told about her predicament.  

As opposed to giving her comfort, which he never did, his reply was sending her a stack of books.

It was then, then she decided to go west.

She settles Alex into his cot.  He past out sometime after they entered the Golden State.  She’ll have to wake him later to put food into his belly.

Julius and Peter are waiting for her in the living room.  Julius’ face is blotchy and red.  He’s still hasn’t stopped crying.  Peter’s face is still emotionless.  They look alone and lost.

Jim herself feels just as alone and confused.

She’s not good at this stuff.

She’s never been good at this stuff.

She’s always been the one being left behind.  She’s always been alone. No one has ever depended on her before…

She grabs her purse and digs out her phone.  “Pizza?” She asks.  Pizza and soda has always been her go to food.  She’ll take beer too, but that’s harder to acquire.  

Julius looks up.  He looks like he wants to smile, but can’t bring himself to.  Peter shrugs his shoulder.

She wishes this isn’t her life, but Jim doesn’t believe in no win scenarios despite how many she has faced and managed to overcome.  She’ll just have to get through this one too.

She finds the closest pizza parlor and orders a pizza with too much meat.  By then the boys have disappeared.  She sinks down among the piles of boxes.  The ones the movers have brought.  

She’s feels buried and lost in things and items that don't belong to _her_ , that isn't _her_ , but is now.

She looks around.

She hears nothing but silence and loneliness.  In a house with so many people, it has never felt more empty.

She has dozed off by the time the doorbell rings.  She draws her sweater close.  It’s surprisingly chilly in San Francisco despite the season. She scampers to the door.  A beaming boy with curly brown hair and dimples smiles at her.  

“Enterprise Delivery Service, Pavel Andreievich Chekov at your service,” the boy rattles out.  Jim blinks.  It’s been so long since she has seen anyone this happy.

Her last two months have been nothing but tears and funerals and trying to build a family when she doesn’t even understand what a family really is.

“You’re nev,” the delivery boy continues.  He has a thick accent.

Jim wonders if the delivery realizes how creepy he sounds.  If he’s one of those computer stalkers…

“Sorry sorry.  Just a long time since anyone’s lived here.”  His eyes widened suddenly.  “You’we Spock’s pen pal.”

Jim momentarily relaxes.  

“Spock’s one of my TAs at the university. Are you starting this fall?”

Before Jim can answer, she hears Alex’s cries.  “Sorry, I got to…”  She motions to the back.

She notes the surprise in the boy’s eyes.  “Right, right, sorry sorry.” He hands Jim the pizza boxes and disappears.

Jim sighs.   

Her first human interaction in San Francisco and it… was pretty bad.

She doubts Spock has explained her situation to anyone. It’s so surreal, like it came out of some storybook, even for her.  She’s surprised he even mentioned her at all.  She sets the pizzas on the coffee table, Sam’s coffee table, her coffee table…

She’s still having a hard time wrapping _that_ around her head.  That she owns things.  Her whole life she’s never owned more than the clothes on her back and her bike.

She stops by Peter’s room.  He has his own, it’s actually the office, not that she’ll ever use it as that. He’s on his bed listening to music.  She knocks.  The boy looks up.  “Pizza’s here,” she says lamely.  The boy nods but doesn’t make any motion to get up.

She leaves for Julius and Alex’s room.  Julius is sitting on the floor, his head buried into his knees.  Alex is sobbing.  Tears and cries, she’s getting used to those sights and sounds.

She picks him up.  She’s not as awkward as she used to be when the lawyers first handed her, her nephews.  She had only met Peter, when he was first born.  Back when she was younger than Peter is now.

She’s their only kin in this world.

Aurelan was any only child and like Jim and Sam; her parents also died young.

She bounces him on her hip.  One of Spock’s books suggested that.  Alex finally calms down.  “Jule! Jule!”  He waves his hand at Julius.  The little boy doesn’t look up.

Jim has learned over the months since she has the boys that Alex loves Julius.  

She sits down next to Julius and sets Alex down on the floor.  The little boy pulls on his older brother’s pant leg.  Julius doesn’t respond.  He’s in his own world.  Jim understands.  She was like this once.

“Jule! Jule!”  He calls again, persistently.

“Stop,” Julius finally lashes out.  He stands up.  Jim grabs the little boy before he can topple over.  He has large tears in his eyes.

Jim watches as Julius storms into the bathroom and slams the door shut.  

Alex lets out a loud wail…


	3. Chapter 3

Jim calls that day meltdown number 1.

She knows a long list of meltdowns will follow.  She also knows this can’t keep up.  

They have been in San Francisco for three days now.

Three days of eating pizzas and drinking sodas.

Three days of tears…

Three days of unpacked and untouched boxes…

Three days of living in a house with too many people that never felt emptier…

They have no schedule, no real sense of time.  She only knows it’s been three in the aftermath when her doorbell rings.

It jolts her from her sleep marred with nightmares.  She throws on a sweater and pair of boy shorts.  It’s long and baggy, and runs to her knees.  

She pulls open the door and immediately regrets her choices of clothes.  On the other side is a man.  A man with dark jet black hair that is perfectly, evenly trimmed with the darkest brown eyes she had ever seen.  He’s in a meticulously ironed shirt and matching pants.  He’s with a young pretty woman. Her dark black hair is pulled into a high ponytail.  She’s wearing high heel boots and a crimson red dress.  She’s everything Jim isn’t.

_It’s Spock._

The man she has known almost her own life.

And she’s Nyota Uhura, Spock’s long term girlfriend, or so Jim has gathered from the letters.

Jim won’t say she wasn’t a little disappointed when Nyota’s name first appeared in Spock’s letters.  She’s brilliant and perfect, and everything Jim isn’t.

But there is a part of Jim, a part she doesn’t like to admit that she was a little sad that Spock wouldn’t be her ‘knight in shining’ armor.  She’s learned long ago she has to pave her own path in this life.  There doesn’t exist a strong, handsome man in this world who is destined to protect her.

Not her father…

Not Sam...

However reading about Nyota and seeing her in person, Jim has never felt more insignificant.

She doesn’t even know what to say.  “Auntie?”  It’s Julius.  She turns her head.

Julius is clutching the doorway.  There is red flush on his face.  He’s in his pajamas.

“Come say hi,” Jim motions.  She hates to admit it, but she’ll use her nephew to break the ice.  It’s not like she has even said hi to them herself, offered them inside.

She’s bad at this stuff…

Social interactions when it really matters and all that jazz.

Julius shakes his head.  “Auntie,” he says again.  He seems to almost be begging.

“It’s okay, Jim,” Nyota smiles.

_God, she’s nice too._

She motions them inside.  She shifts a couple of boxes.  She’s glad they don’t say anything.  She sets down two bottles of water before going to Julius.

He tugs her to his room.  “Sorry Auntie, I had an accident.”  He’s so close to tears she can’t bring herself to be angry or even frustrated.

“It’s okay Julius.  How about you take a shower, and I’ll clean up the mess?”

Julius nods.  He runs off, leaving her with the mess.  

She’s just glad Alex and Peter are still asleep.  She feels terrible about leaving Nyota and Spock in the living room as she gathers up the sheets.  She starts a load of laundry.  It has piled up.  By then Julius has changed.

Jim finds him and Peter in the living room.

They sit on each side of Nyota and Spock.  She’s showing them something on her phone.  She hears Julius laugh for the first time.  It sounds like music.

_She really is perfect…_

Not like Jim.

“Auntie!” Julius looks up.  He smiles at her. Jim wishes she knew how to keep that smile on his face.

“Jim,” both Nyota and Spock stand up.

Nyota, fluidly and easily, with a dancer’s grace while Spock is more stiff.

Jim takes a deep breath.

Spock sticks out his hand.  Jim almost wants to laugh.

_This is Spock…_

She’s known him almost her whole life.  She takes his hand.  They fit together so right.  Like a friendship destined by time and space itself.

“Jim.”

“Spock.”

And that is all they need.

Nyota pulls her into a hug.  She kissed each side of Jim’s cheeks before pulling away.  “It’s good to finally meet you!  Spock has talked about you for so long.  You’re just like how he described.  We would have come earlier but with semester…”  She trails off, a slight pink on her chocolate brown cheeks.

It’s the thing she has never mentioned in her letters.  What she’ll be doing in San Francisco financially.

She gets money from the state for the boys along with her large inheritance. Hers and Sam’s now…

Technically she doesn’t have to work.

She has worked before, normally they are just odds and ends jobs.  Most are as waitresses at diners.  She once took a job fixing computers and cars.

She’s never really been one for school.  She dropped out years ago.  She has a GED because of drunken reasons.

But she knows she can’t do that, not with the boys.

By then the boys have slipped away.  She hears them in the kitchen.  Moments later Julius appears again.  He looks hesitant. Peter follows.  He nudges his brother.

Julius twists his shirt.

Before he can speak up, Nyota interrupts him.  “There is a diner close by that Spock and I wanted to try out.  Let’s all go.”  

She sees Peter and Julius both relax.

Jim has never felt more ashamed.  

This isn’t her.

“Jim?”

Jim nods because she can’t really says no.  

She changes into her best clothes, a shirt and a pair of jeans before she wakes up Alex.  He’s cranky and upset and promptly falls asleep on her shoulder before they even step outside of the door.

She realizes then it is the second time she has stepped outside since arriving here.

The sky is beautiful.

A pale blue color with fluffy white clouds…

The dips and bumps of the city expand out in all direction.  She can make out the sea.

The diner is a short walk from the brownstone.  

It’s almost empty.  There are only three other patrons in the room.

They get a booth near the window.  

Nyota keeps the boys distracted as they wait for the food.  It’s then Jim learns she’s a second year linguistics student.  She loves languages.  

She’s doing a double bachelor's and master’s.  She hopes to get the master’s upgraded to a PhD instead.  She has a theory that languages are just a complicated mathematical equation, patterns and codes.  If she can crack the code, then learning the language is trivial. Just by knowing a few words, a whole language can be pieced together.

Jim understands then just how amazing she is.

How right she is for Spock.

She’s happy for him.

She really is.


	4. Chapter 4

Nyota and Spock come around a few more times in the next few weeks.

They tell her about the best places to buy fresh food, the closest stores…

Everything she needs to survive.

Survival…

That’s all Jim aims for these days.

It’s all about small accomplishments.  She aims to keep the kitchen stocked with food, like cereal, bread, jam and jelly, sandwich meat and junk food that she thinks her nephews will like.

Not ingredients.

She’s never learned to cook.  

She’s lived her life from one diner to the next.

She tries to order less pizza and more from the whole food places Nyota and Spock suggested, but after a lifetime without greens she can’t stomach the bland taste.  She does for the boys because she has enough sense to know she’s not the healthiest person in the world.

She tries to keep the laundry from piling up.  The neverending pile of laundry…

Julius wets his bed.

It seems to be contagious.  Alex relapses on his potty training.  She’s forced to buy diapers because she doesn’t know what else to do.

The only times the boys seem happy are when Nyota and Spock come around to visit.

Jim finds herself living from one visit to the next.

Somehow or another, summer ends, and autumn begins.

There is a mixture of relief and guilt that she can send the boys to school.

Julius is starting 1st grade, and Peter is starting 7th grade.

The schools are close to the brownstone.  They can either walk or take the school bus.  

It’s also the first time she’s mistaken for their mother.  She doesn’t realize this is her reality until that moment.  She can’t keep her eyes from widening for a moment before she catches herself.

This is her life.

This is her future.

She takes a deep breath and gently corrects the aging secretary who is no longer looking at them.  She pushes up her angular specs and continues typing at a furious speed.

“No, I’m their aunt,” she explains.  

The woman responds with uninterested ‘hmm’.  Her printer goes off.  She twists in her chair, picks up the sheet and slides it effortlessly across the table.

“Here’s Julius’s registration paperwork.”  She taps through the boxes.  “First grade, Ms. Rand will be his teacher.  Room 1701.  Class starts Monday at 8.”

She slides a glance at Julius who’s been standing next to her. He’s lapsed into a quiet and silent phase lately.   She looks behind her at Peter and Alex.  Peter just looks bored, and Alex looks sleepy.

She quickly looks back at the lady.  She thanks her, takes the piece of paper and extends her hand to Julius, who grabs it like a lifeline.  Peter follows with Alex toddling along.

Before they leave the school, Jim has an idea.

She remembers her first day of elementary school.  Sam had taken her because their mother had been incapacitated.  She had been nervous and scared.  Scared nobody would like her.  Scared because it was unfamiliar...

She stops the boys.  Julius looks up at her with his big, brown eyes.

“Auntie?”

“Would you like to see your classroom?”

He looks down for a second, and Jim sees her nephew’s almost nonexistent tiny dip of his head.  

She looks behind her at Peter and Alex.  She wonders if she should leave the boys at the front desk but decides against it.  She walks over to the map of the school that is mounted near the front door, the one that is cut into a slab of marble.

She finds Julius’ classroom.  It’s on the first floor of the west wing.

The walls of the west wing are covered with rainbows, butterflies, zoo animals, dinosaurs, flowers and smiling faces.

“Pety… Dino… Dino,” she hears Alex exclaim.  The little boy is definitely excited.  She looks down at Julius.  He winds his fingers tighter around her hands.  It’s the first time he has done that.

Jim squeezes back.

She remembers Sam doing this for her all those years ago.

Her brave big brother, the man she thought would protect her forever.

It is her turn now.

She guides Julius to the door and gently holsters him up, so he can look inside.  Reflected by the clean glass mounted into the mahogany door frame, she sees how his eyes widen.

“Look at all the toys, Auntie.  The fire truck!”

Jim smiles.  “Yep.”

“Hello?”  Jim turns around to find a young woman, in her early twenties, with lush blonde hair neatly wrapped into an elaborate bun.  She’s wearing a red blouse and matching red skirt.  There is a smile on her face.  “Can I help you?”

“I wanted to show my nephew his classroom.”

“Oh,” she nods.  “I'm Janice Rand.”

Jim recognizes that name immediately.  “Jim Kirk, and this is Julius, Peter and Alexander.”  She names off the boys.

Janice smiles before stepping close to Julius.  “Are you the brave boy starting first grade?”

Julius nods shyly.  “I’m your teacher, Ms.  Rand.  Would you like to come inside?”

Julius’ eyes widen.  “May I?”

She nods.  She pulls out her keychain with a daisy pendant and unlocks the door.  Jim sets Julius down.  He walks forward, hesitantly for a moment.  Janice smiles and motions for him to go inside.

“Jule!  Jule!  Truck!” Alex exclaims.  It breaks Julius out of his trance.  The two boys run inside with Peter following reluctantly behind.  

Jim watches the boys for a few moments.  They are happy.  They are laughing.  Her heart swells for a moment before turning to back to Janice.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, anything to make Monday easier.”  Janice responds back.  

Jim nods back.  

She understands.  


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morning comes like a torrential rainstorm, with the waterworks, the meltdowns, and the chaos.

Alex has come down with a slight fever, which throws everything off.  

She sends Peter off with a wade of lunch money.  The boy accepts it with wide eyes.  Jim momentarily wonders if she should have packed lunches instead.  She had decided against it since she remembers her own middle school days.  

The cool kids always bought their school lunches.

She returns to the dining room to find Julius listlessly turning his spoon around and around in his bowl of now soggy Coco Puffs.  

She pushes back his bangs and sits down next to the boy.  “Jules?”  

The little boy looks up.  There are big, fat tears in his eyes.  Jim hands him a tissue and glances at the flashing numbers on the microwave.  He’ll definitely miss the school bus now, and she’s not keen on the idea of letting him walk to school alone.

While she did walk to school when she was Julius’ age, it was in cornfield Iowa, a tiny rural town with a population of only a thousand.  It wasn’t bustling San Francisco.

“What’s wrong buddy?”

That seems to have the adverse effect.  Julius instead bursts into what Jim recognizes as inconsolable tears.

He can’t be late for school.  It’s the first day, so she does something all the parenting books tell her not to do.

And she has a whole stack now on loan from the San Francisco public library.

Books…

They have always been her friend.  It’s where she learned everything about life, puberty and growing up.

“Come on Jules.  How about you dry up these tears, and we’ll get ice cream after school?”

She knows Julius loves ice cream.  He looks up at her.  His lower lip quibbles.  “With chocolate syrup and toppings?”

_Aww fuck…_

Jim tries her best to not glance at the clock. She puts on her best smile.  She tells herself this is the only time.  “With chocolate syrup and toppings,” she promises.

Julius grins.  

He finishes his breakfast while Jim gets Alex dressed.  She takes his hand as they leave the brownstone.

As they get closer to the school, Julius starts to drag his feet.  Jim looks down and sees that the little boy is crying again.  Alex whines in her arm.  He’s getting heavy.

Jim stops.  She sets Alex on her hip and bends down. “Hey bud.”  

Julius looks up.

“You got this.”

Julius shakes his head.

“Can’t I stay home with you?”  He asks through tears.

Jim smiles kindly.  “It’ll be fun.  You’ll learn so much and make new friends.”

Julius shakes his head.  He quibbles his lower lip.  “W… What if nobody likes me?”

“Course they will.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re Julius Kirk.”

The little boy blinks, confused.  

“Never mind.  Kids will like you, just be yourself.  It’ll be fun.  You’ll see.  Don’t you want to see Ms. Rand again?”

Julius nods, shyly. Jim smiles.  She wipes the boy’s cheeks, makes sure there is no sign he has been crying before leading him to the school.

It’s a miracle that they aren’t late.  There are still parents dropping their kids off at the front.

Jim leads Julius to his classroom.  She notes the way his eyes grow wide.  He tightens his grip on her hand, as if she’s his lifeline.

They make it to his classroom.  She shifts Alex back to her shoulder.  The little boy has fallen asleep again.

There are a few parents in the room, mostly mothers, helping their kids find their lockers and desks.  Janice had shown Julius his earlier.  

It is located under the window, in the middle of the room.  His desk mate isn’t there yet Jim notes.  He helps Julius hang up his jacket in his cubby then walks him to his desk.

He looks up at her again with those great big eyes.  He eyes the room questionably.  “Julius, good to see you today.”  Janice walks over to them.  There is a smile on her face.

“Hi,” Julius waves shyly.  

She smiles at Jim.  “Ready to start the day?”

He looks at Janice, then Jim and back at Janice.  “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll see you after school then.”  Jim smiles.  She turns to leave.  As she does, Julius grabs her leg.  Jim turns.

“Bye bye Auntie.”

His eyes look red again.  Jim smiles.  “You're going to do great, Jules.”

He nods and let's go.  As Jim leaves the room, she’s nearly knocked over by the whirlwind of a little girl.  She has wavy auburn hair and is like a storm.  Jim manages to catch her before she falls over.

She has a pair of vibrant green eyes, Jim notes as she looks up at her.  She stumbles backwards.  She immediately looks guilty.  “Sorry, ma’am.”

Jim smiles back.  “It’s okay.”

She watches as the little girl stuffs her coat and bag into her cubby.  She waves to Julius once more before leaving the classroom.

When she picks Julius up after school, she sees the little girl that almost knocked her over sitting by herself reading a book.  As Julius grabs her arm, a smile on his face as he tells her about his day, she looks at the little girl and can’t help but thinks she reminds her of herself.

“That’s Vida.”

Jim looks down at her nephew.

“Her daddy is a med student.”  Jim notices that Julius’ voice doesn’t quibble at the word ‘daddy’ anymore.

“Oh.”

“She’s my desk mate. Can we get ice cream now?”

“Ice cream!” Alex giggles.

“Now you’re awake,” Jim rolls her eyes.  She pulls Julius close.  The little boy looks up and smiles at her.  “Sure let’s get ice cream.

 

XXXXXXXX

 

For a while Jim thinks she is doing alright. 

Julius doesn’t cry as much anymore and actually enjoys riding the school bus.

She helps him with his homework.

The kid actually has homework.

She never had homework in grade school.  Then again, she never paid much attention in school.  She might have and just never did it.

She helps Peter pick out his football gear. She remembers his smile when he tells her he made the junior varsity team.  Jim couldn’t be happier and knows Sam would be too.

In the end, it’s Alex that is the hardest.  It’s not that she has to work, she’s still trying to figure that part out.  There is a part of her, the twenty year old part of her that is terrified about spending time alone with him.

With Spock and Nyota’s help, she manages to enroll him into a preschool at their school for a few hours each day.  They don’t mention Jim and college though. She wonders if she should thank Nyota for that one.

She finds herself running errands, doing chores, and thinking about the boys when they aren’t with her.

She wonders if this is what it means to raise children.

Before she knows it, it’s mid autumn.  Before she knows it, the boys have been in school for a month.

And then she gets her first flyer...

PTA meeting…

She knows what it stands for.

Parent teacher association…

She used to hide those flyers from her mom and Sam.  She has a whole loose floorboard filled with them back in Iowa.

PTA means bake sales, fundraisers and parental involvement.  She doesn’t doubt that Aurelan wouldn’t have been front and center at those.

She doesn’t know much about Aurelan.  She had never really made the effort to get to know her sister-in-law.  When she was little, she saw her as the woman who stole her brother away.

She guesses Aurelan was a perfect mom, not that Jim has experience with what _that_ means.

She leaves the boys with Spock and Nyota.  

She tells herself she needs to stop depending on them so much.  She has always been independent.  

When she arrives at Julius’ school, she can tell she is late even though the time on her phone says otherwise.  The gymnasium is packed with mothers.

“Overachievers,” a scruffy voice mutters next to her.  She nearly jumps.

She slides a glance to her side and is meant by an angry, tired young man.  There is heavy eleven o’clock shadow around his hazel eyes.  He’s wearing a thick jacket even though the weather doesn’t warrant such clothes.  

There is a part of Jim’s mind where the alarm bells are blaring and blasting.

That self preservation part of her…

“They get together to discuss the pros and cons of selling vegan cupcakes at a kid’s bake sale as if we all have the time of day. Think it can actually prevent the disease and decay in their kids' teeth.  Give them apple slices and water if you really want to do something.”

“Sorry.”

She doesn’t even know what she’s apologizing for.  It just seems like the correct thing to do.

Jim wonders if this is the first time he even realizes she’s there.  Or if it’s the first time someone has responded to him.

“Sorry McCoy, Leonard McCoy.”

Jim relaxes.  She recognizes that last name.  Julian’s table mate shares that same last name.  He had mentioned her daddy was a med student.

It aligns with everything the man had just said.

The reason for his disheveled appearance...

“Jim Kirk."


End file.
